oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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