His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
