And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
