K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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