you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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