You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
