turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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