I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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