remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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