I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
