did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize