were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can I color on your dick again?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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