I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize