Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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