yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize