On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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