you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
