I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
