Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize