david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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