Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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