I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
