When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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