Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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