So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
