My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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