Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
