you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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