if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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