I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
