I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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