saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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