I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
