You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize