Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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