i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Boobs are out for the taking
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
