im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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