so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
