i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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