There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize