Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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