Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
