Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
