Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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