One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
