i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We need to get me chipped asap
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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