I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
