I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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