I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
