we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
