then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
