It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
