Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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