He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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