Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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