He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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